Sweep it under the rug

Zen · Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:53 pm Post subject: Sweep it under the rug

Photo by Norbert Felzl

Whoops.....

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Leviticus 17:10 I will even set my face against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people.
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Zen · Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:54 pm Post subject:

Photo by Kate Cymmer

Ah, it is good to be back although in what quantity and quality I cannot guarantee.
I apologize for my absence. Sometimes my mind takes me places which aren’t the most pleasant and I end up gorging myself on whatever I find there festering – at least until reality comes back and slaps me across the cheeks and then I stand upon the mound and look at the wastelands of deprivation and degradation which lay before me as far as the horizon and then, with a twist in my bowels – fully cognizant once more – I must gingerly tread through the evidence and hope that no mangled corpse of foul pleasure lurches up to bite, as the cadavers are more than whole in the real world but my blurred memory only permits me vague visions of my previous interactions with them and as I stifle retch after bile-filled retch I must once again find safe and even ground.
Today I used my new chainsaw for the first time. It’s an 18” petrol motor Husqvarna. Oh, the fun to be had….

The Nottingham book signing was cancelled at the last minute due to the fact that the printer had only done the covers and not the books; but this was not a bad thing. My publisher Martin had people out on the streets, handing out flyers, and on several occasions they had these flung back in the faces and were spat at after Nottingham’s populace read just what the book was about. The date has now been moved to Saturday, November 17th, between 7 and 10 pm, in Treadwell’s Bookshop, Covent Garden, London.

After returning from England, we’ve had one major problem after another. My baby daughter broke her elbow and once again we were faced with just how bad the local hospital and staff are. Today we took her to have her plaster removed at the only private hospital in the country, several hours away. It was a little better than the local one but not that much. The school I have been working for, and believed I would be working for, told me they had no students so that has caused us huge problems. Also, the proofreadings I have been doing for various companies have basically dwindled out, meaning at present I have virtually zero income – quite a frightening prospect as it’s not as though there are many options over here. And then all my children fell ill with a salmonella-type virus. I have even visited the mother-in-law of my gypsy friend as I believe we have had a curse put on us. Joy is life.
I have spent a hell of a lot this year, believing there to be more en route and when a wall suddenly appears and smashes you in the face, you have to take a moment to recover and work out how to go forward. Well, that’s the theory. Me personally, I just plunge myself into hedonistic self destructive activities, piss off a hell of a lot of people and let the gods drag me out of it and point me in the right direction again. I still have no idea what I’m doing as no resolution has appeared yet but at least I’m now conscious enough to communicate.
Thanks to all those who have waited for me and cared for me. I know everyone has their own problems, so let’s hear them!
Woe knows this very well: friends like you for what you are and then act shocked when they discover that you are.
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Leviticus 17:10 I will even set my face against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people.
Aestheteka.com
Aestheteka on myspace
Bestian Order of Aestheteka

Vampire_Una · Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:11 pm Post subject:

You have being greatly missed, & yes it's true, in tribulation times it's when u kow whom your real friends are, being there myself to many times to know better.

WB even if it's only to see u once a month.

A big hug to u & your family hope to hear from u again soon.

Lola · Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 11:08 pm Post subject:

Hope the baby's better.

Horror_Writer · Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 11:13 pm Post subject:

VERY good to hear from you! There has been much genuine worry spent on your behalf, not knowing what might be amiss. Misery shared is misery reduced.

How does one break an elbow?
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I do not hide in shadow, for I am the shadow; thus to hide, I hide within myself.

Woe Unto Thee · Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:40 am Post subject:

Aum · Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:55 pm Post subject:

Aum · Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:57 pm Post subject:

Zen · Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:42 pm Post subject:

Lola - my daughter is as hyperactive as my eldest boy. A couple of weeks back, good old Artur, his son and his girlfriend stayed at my house for the weekend. While we were in the living room, my daughter decided to couch dive in the boys' play room. The screams were horrific. The ball of her upper arm was severed so much that only a millimetre or two was holding it on. Our local hospital wanted to perform surgery - which would mean a long stay there, maybe a week, plus anaesthetic. The latter can be deadly here because they have no fucking idea what they are doing. my eldest boy woke up halfway through one of his ops. Artur had to babysit my boys while we spent several hours in hospital. good old Artur.

I hope you all don't think i'd forgotten you. I hadn't (and I've almost finished your book HW - Artur had a little read of it while he was here).

Today i started to get back that old feeling of sheer dark light that ripples up and down the spine. I spent 10 hours chopping wood with an axe (too many nails just yet for chainsaw). My eldest boy - who is a pure A grade student - recieved his worst mark ever - an F from Religious Studies because he couldn't name all the 10 Commandments. I felt that sheer RAAAARRRGGGHHHH run through me and i ended up arguing with my wife that perhaps he should explain to his teacher that God broke every single one of his own commandments on numerous occasions. In fact, perhaps the teacher could explain why Christianity is FOUNDED on several blatant commandment breaks -

God committed adultery by getting Mary up the duff while she was married to Joseph

Peter was a fucking liar and yet the entire Christian religion is based on HIS version of events ("Oh yes, Jesus did say that I ccould be the rock and the church would be me...")

Christianity has killed its way across the world for the last 1700 years

I could go on but that's what i write books for

I feel it coming back, and with panache and elan. My wife suggested that our current crisis is based on my beliefs - I pointed out that our crisis didn't start until I went on sabbatical. So here goes: "Daddy, I'm home..."

HAIL THE SELF! HAIL I!

And it's no longer Luciferian Gnosticism - it's Bestian Gnosticism. And all I could do was ding-a-lang-a-ding my dang-a-long-a-ling-long.....
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Leviticus 17:10 I will even set my face against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people.
Aestheteka.com
Aestheteka on myspace
Bestian Order of Aestheteka

Aum · Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 10:23 pm Post subject:

Horror_Writer · Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:33 am Post subject:

Now that sounds like the Zen I used to know!

Good deal on the book too--would love to get a nice review from you! Still waiting for Nicholas Grabowsky. His web site says that he has read my book and will post a review any day now. It's been that way since July!

Oh, and I submitted my application to Lancaster Univeristy's distance-learning MA in creative writing program last night. We'll see what happens next. Will be sending them a copy of my book--don't know if that will help or hurt my chances Icon_devilgrin

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I do not hide in shadow, for I am the shadow; thus to hide, I hide within myself.

Aum · Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 2:15 am Post subject:

You've written a book? Do tell.

Horror_Writer · Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 3:42 am Post subject:

Yes, indeed.

You can check it out on my web site at www.HorrorPlace.com

Just posted a new picture from my last book signing. Click on "About Me".
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I do not hide in shadow, for I am the shadow; thus to hide, I hide within myself.

11th_Son · 10+1 Joined: 06 Jul 2006 Posts: 1807 Respect Earned: +116

Good to see you back Zen man.

Its a pity you can't get your book signing in Manchester. I was in Aflecks Palace the other day (because ive been reading a bit of Crowley lately), and I was think that it was the ideal place to either advertise it or have it. It still has its dark arts charm, although there are a lot of nu-metal/emmo kids hanging out there lately.

Peace brother
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`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'

~L. Carroll~ (Alice in Wonderland)

Aum · Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 2:31 pm Post subject: