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Zen The Seated


Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 11655 Respect Earned: +128
Location: Lesser Carpathians, Rusnakia, Ruthenia
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 4:01 pm Post subject: I'm back |
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I'm back..... _________________
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Zen The Seated


Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 11655 Respect Earned: +128
Location: Lesser Carpathians, Rusnakia, Ruthenia
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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It is amazing what just a few miles can do to one’s life. Even the vague semblance of civilization offered by the local small town is a far cry from living in the village. There is no gas mains, no sewage system and, until I pressured the national telecomn company for several months into erecting telegraph poles, I had no phone line. My mobile operator, Orange – the largest in the country – doesn’t have a signal out here.
At night, when I take my dog out for a shit, I’m amazed by just how clear the sky is. The only light pollution comes from my own house. I’m also often shocked by the various beasties when standing outside after midnight – I’ve startled both red and roe deer as they graze behind my house. I guess I need to erect a fence.
As this has been an extremely hot and dry summer, I have spent the entire time dressed like Stig of the Dump (or a Mowgli figure); shorts and barefeet. I haven’t shaved. My feet have made constant contact with the ground and on a few occasions I’ve watched snakes just slithering beside me.
The house is alive with sounds at all times, day and night. The myriad of wasps nests in the rafters constantly buzz and at night the mice use the attic as a Formula 1 race track. I’ve laid plenty of poison but it’s done little good. A barn owl screeches loudly as it perches from my side balcony yet when it flies overhead as I wait for my dog in the dark it glides silently – just a large white shape moving soundlessly a few feet above my head.
The forest is a scary place, as is the large meadow behind the house – once darkness falls. Cicadas racket all night and there is the constant sound of things moving around out there, their eyes occasionally caught in my caving lamp.
A few months back I was underground in a dark, cold and damp money pit and now the sun bakes my skin. My hands are hardening from my toil as I make a home for my family. I breathe air rather than fumes.
I needed a time-out. I’ve done a lot in the last year, as I have done throughout my life, and it caught up on me. Constant stress, constant money worries, fighting the urge to drink, daily headbutting illogical post-socialist bureaucracy and its related tardiness.
I needed Grounding.
The god Veles kept visiting my dreams and for quite some time I put him to oneside as I barreled along. Now, I look at the ground beneath me and know that I have a strong foundation from which to grow. Arkham meets Valhalla. I have very strong opinions on certain aspects of life which have been twisted into downright negative influences on our society, and these I shall be exploring despite what I know will be the disgusted reaction.
I look to the future. Purported morality will be facing the knife.
My Bullmastiff’s called Veles. Every time I or another member of my family says his name, the god will be invoked. Of added interest is that he was born on 30th April, Walpurgisnacht....Really dumb dog though. Loving but dumb. _________________
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Woe Unto Thee Moderator


Joined: 03 Nov 2006 Posts: 493 Respect Earned: +51
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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Love the dog. Sounds like the house is killer, other than the lack of communication, though sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing. Hope the family's digging it too. _________________ "Let us go and acquit ourselves like true warriors: kill everyone we can can catch and take all the valuables we can carry." - Egil |
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laila L


Joined: 30 Dec 2005 Posts: 2829 Respect Earned: +34
Location: the carpathians
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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how's the world outside your place? has anything changed ? _________________ Remember you always have options. |
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Lady Eldorath Dark Goddess


Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Posts: 3776 Respect Earned: +52
Location: Minnesota
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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Always a pleasure to see you Edward. I do love the new puppy. He's a cutie. _________________ "Weaken a bad habit by avoiding everything that occasioned it or stimulated it, without concentrating upon it in your zeal to avoid it. Then divert your mind to some good habit and steadily cultivate it until it becomes a dependable part of you. " P. Yogananda |
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Horror_Writer Moderator


Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Posts: 4372 Respect Earned: +81
Location: Michigan, USA
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 12:33 am Post subject: |
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Welcome back! We've missed you and been a little worried with not knowing the cause of your absence. Sounds like you needed the break and have come back refreshed. Good deal.
Looking forward to more pics of the house as progress continues.
We've been building a retaining wall the last few days. Have one more window to replace in the house, then on to the doors. Ordered wood today to make a beamed ceiling in our living room. _________________ I do not hide in shadow, for I am the shadow; thus to hide, I hide within myself. |
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Zen The Seated


Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 11655 Respect Earned: +128
Location: Lesser Carpathians, Rusnakia, Ruthenia
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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I have been accused by a few people of being selfish because i haven't been on the forum for a while, nor have i replied to messages or emails. This is a combination of shitty internet access - exremely intermittent - and also because I just needed some breathing space. I'm a writer and artist and every so often i just need to take a steop back from people and evaluate what i'm doing, where i am, where i'm going etc. to continue blindly is illogical. As for being selfish, well....I am a fekking Satanist  _________________
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Horror_Writer Moderator


Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Posts: 4372 Respect Earned: +81
Location: Michigan, USA
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 12:09 am Post subject: |
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No hard feelings here! I can completely understand and relate. _________________ I do not hide in shadow, for I am the shadow; thus to hide, I hide within myself. |
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Lola Inanna Defiled


Joined: 26 Dec 2005 Posts: 14438 Respect Earned: +81
Location: UK
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Zen wrote: | I have been accused by a few people of being selfish because i haven't been on the forum for a while, nor have i replied to messages or emails. This is a combination of shitty internet access - exremely intermittent - and also because I just needed some breathing space. I'm a writer and artist and every so often i just need to take a steop back from people and evaluate what i'm doing, where i am, where i'm going etc. to continue blindly is illogical. As for being selfish, well....I am a fekking Satanist  |
Oh well, whoever accused you of that must have done it via a pm to you, because I haven't read anyhting from anyone on the forum saying that.
I haven't been posting much either, as I've been preoccupied with panicking about my son and his Europe trip. I've also not been the same as I usually am for a couple of weeks, but I think I'm back on track now.
It's been a bit of a crappy time for me, but I think I'm getting back to normal for now.
At the end of the day we're all human, apart from Zen, lol. We can only do so much, and sometimes the internet has to take a back seat.
Hell. it's summer too. Who wants to be sitting in when the weather's nice? |
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C26 Adeptus Exemptus 7°=4


Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 401 Respect Earned: +54
Location: Poland:(
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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Well, when it's hot as hell, I rather sit in. _________________
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ErisX Philosophus 4°=7


Joined: 21 May 2006 Posts: 129 Respect Earned: +20
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:33 am Post subject: |
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| glad you posted - place sounds lovely! i can relate about needing space, i do the same thing. your friends know you'll resurface later. |
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